Hire The Cat PRO AUTONOMOUS ON-CHAIN INTELLIGENCE
Launch Studio
SOLANA & EVM HIGH-VELOCITY INTELLIGENCE

The Autonomous AI Suite for Solana Meme Projects.

Stop getting rugged by hidden dev puppets and stop posting AI slop. Hire The Cat tracks shadow wallet clusters, calculates pump bonding velocity, deploys 24/7 community bots, and generates viral proof-of-work CT narratives that actually convert.

⚑ Launch Pro Studio 🌌 Galaxy Loom Radar β†— View Plans
βœ“ Zero Wallet Drainer Risk βœ“ 100% On-Chain Proof βœ“ Hold $JOBLESS for VIP Access
🐾 LIVE FORENSIC SENTINEL
SOLANA MAINNET
Shadow Cabal
5 Puppets
Jito Snipe Threat
Low (14%)
Curve Velocity
+14.2%/hr
🚨 Whale Alert: Top holder (4Fk9...9xQa) funded 4 secondary wallets via FixedFloat 18 mins before raydium graduation.
πŸ“ˆ Bonding Radar: $JOBLESS curve stability rating: 94/100 (Zero dump shockwave vulnerability).
Target: HgZ8TxCnJ4Mmqn9y6oB3SQHHcFx8rFpw1AvGXv9kpump View Loom β†—
WHAT YOU ACTUALLY GET

Institutional Tools Worth Paying For.

We replaced generic prompt wrappers with actual tactical utilities: multi-wallet cluster tracing, bonding velocity math, white-label community security bots, and viral narrative builders.

ENGINE // SHADOW WALLET & CLUSTER HUNTER CONNECTED TO RPC
βœ“ FUNDING ORIGIN AUDIT CONFIDENCE: 98%
Primary Dev Wallet: HgZ8Tx...v9kpump
Funding Tree: Clean direct SOL transfer from Kraken Exchange (No Tornado Cash, FixedFloat, or cross-chain mixers detected).
Co-Controlled Wallets: 1 primary deployer wallet, 0 stealth shadow puppet splitters.
Historical Deployment: Dev address has deployed 0 previous rugs in the last 180 days.
⚠️ TOP WHALE SYBIL RISK MATRIX TIMING CLUSTERING: 12ms
Sybil Group Concentration: Top 5 holders hold 28.5% total supply.
Dump Impact Calculus: If top whale dumps 100% of holdings, estimated liquidity drain is $1.05K (12.4% pool impact). Bonding curve remains completely safe.
⚑ PUMP.FUN MATHEMATICAL TELEMETRY STATUS: ACTIVE CURVE
Bonding Curve Progress: 14.2% ($8.50K / $69K required for Raydium graduation).
Buy Inflow Velocity: +$1,420 SOL / hour (Organic curve velocity rating: HIGH).
Jito Bundle Vulnerability: 18/100 (LOW THREAT) β€” Insiders have not pre-staged multi-block sandwich traps.
Predicted Raydium Graduation: ~6.5 hours at sustained buy velocity.
🚨 RUG RECEIPT AUTOPSY // EVIDENCE FILE #941 STATUS: VERIFIED ON-CHAIN
Target Asset: Fartcoin (9BB6...bgpump)
Developer Actions: Dev wallet holds 24.2% supply in primary account, with 4 puppet wallets controlling 19.6% co-held.
Potential Rug Shockwave: 100% OF BONDING RESERVES ($7.76K) would be completely wiped if puppet syndicate dumps simultaneously.
Off-Ramp Tracking: Prior associated wallets routed proceeds to ChangeNOW and MEXC deposit memos.
01 Β· MAIN PROOF-OF-WORK POST FACT-LOCKED
Shipped an automated Discord webhook transmitter for Cat’s Cradle today. Now you can broadcast real-time cabal risk scores, top whale dump shockwaves, and 60 FPS Keplerian galaxy links straight into your community channels with 1 tap. Real utility over empty promises.
02 Β· SELF-AWARE MEME CAPTION FACT-LOCKED
other projects: "big announcement coming in 3 weeks (it's a medium article)"
us: spent all night fixing Cloudflare syntax so our cat bot can automatically warn you before your dev takes the liquidity to Cabo.
03 Β· TRUTHFUL TEASER NO FAKE ROADMAP
Next up on the sentinel engine: tracking multi-wallet stealth funding origins before tokens hit Raydium. If the dev funded 10 puppet wallets from the same CEX deposit, we're putting it on the screen.
PRICING & REVENUE TIERS

Plans Built for Real Operators.

Pay with credit card via Stripe, or hold $JOBLESS tokens to unlock full Pro privileges for free.

Freeloader

Basic lookups for casual traders and curious degens.

$0 / month
  • 5 Shadow Wallet searches per day
  • Basic Pump.fun bonding metrics
  • Public Galaxy Loom terminal access
  • Community Discord read-only alerts
  • Standard Build β†’ Content drafts
Start Free
MOST POPULAR

Pro Hunter

Full alpha intelligence for serious traders, snipers & community managers.

$19.99 / month
  • Unlimited Shadow Wallet & Cluster tracing
  • Jito bundle & MEV sandwich radar alerts
  • Private Discord & Telegram Webhook Dispatcher
  • 4K Watermark-Free Rug Receipt Evidence exports
  • Full Degen Narrative & Trench Raid writers' room
  • 24/7 Cat Watch change sentinel (75 tokens)

Syndicate Dev

Institutional infrastructure for token founders and multi-token callers.

$49.99 / month
  • White-Label Bot deployed to your Telegram / Discord
  • Dedicated high-speed RPC node endpoints
  • Automated 24/7 Whale Dump Shockwave alerts
  • Priority Feature Requests & Custom Webhooks
  • Unlimited saved tokens & snapshot archive
πŸ’Ž VIP PASS FOR HOLDERS

Hold $JOBLESS? Skip the monthly subscription.

We reward our community directly. Any Solana wallet holding at least 1,000,000 $JOBLESS tokens automatically unlocks Pro Hunter ($19.99/mo) features with zero recurring fees or credit cards required.

OFFICIAL ECOSYSTEM CONTRACT
HgZ8TxCnJ4Mmqn9y6oB3SQHHcFx8rFpw1AvGXv9kpump
Tax: 0% Liquidity: 100% Community Network: Solana